How does a splatter-gore-horror-obsessed vegetarian celebrate Thanksgiving? With zombie chickens and a slasher turkey, of course.

First on the menu was Poultrygeist. A Troma classic, to be sure. Obscene, offensive, and utterly delicious. Summarizing this Night of the Chicken Dead movie would give it a great injustice. So, I’ll just quote some of my favorite lines:

  • Denny: That’s the thing about a chicken. It’s got dead eyes. Black. Like a sex doll.
  • African-American, Denny, turns into a zombie and says: “Jambalaya! Crawdaddy! Po’ boy! Gumbo God dammit!” Wendy responds, “He’s turned into a Blackened Cajun chicken!
  • Hummus: The chicken has declared jihad on us all!
  • Chicken Zombie: I know its fattening, but I love the skin.

And the best way to end a day of poultry engorgement: Thankskilling. You just got stuffed! How my husband could snore through this movie–and my howls of laughter–is beyond me. My side hurts from doubling-over. I’m still wiping tears of joy. A killer turkey? Who knew it could be so much fun. I want to thank my brother and his girlfriend for staying up till the early morn to watch and laugh with me. ThanksKilling will no doubt become a family tradition.

Gobble, gobble, motherfu%#@rs!