Dear Sleep

Dear Sleep, You don’t pay my bills. You don’t cook or clean. You don’t finish my manuscripts. You don’t meet my deadlines. I don’t have time for your selfishness in my life. And when I’m with you, I’m thinking about work. I guess, what I’m saying is…I’m breaking up with you. Maybe I’ll see you Read More

6 Indulgences to 24 Hour Perfection

If you were gifted with 24 hours, guilt-free and suspended in time, what would be the 6 indulgences dominating your day? Two restrictions: You spend it alone (Sorry, kids. Self-pleasure only) You can’t touch your to-do list Here’s my 6 ingredient cocktail to 24 hour perfection: 1. 75 degrees of open air capping 360 degrees of undeveloped horizon 2. The Avett Brothers Read More


How does a splatter-gore-horror-obsessed vegetarian celebrate Thanksgiving? With zombie chickens and a slasher turkey, of course. First on the menu was Poultrygeist. A Troma classic, to be sure. Obscene, offensive, and utterly delicious. Summarizing this Night of the Chicken Dead movie would give it a great injustice. So, I’ll just quote some of my favorite lines: Read More

God Box

I settled onto the stool beside my first grader and brushed his bangs out of his eye. “All done?” “Yup.” He pushed his homework assignment over the counter to me. Two large boxes filled the worksheet. Living Things labeled one box. Non-Living Things labeled the other. The Directions: Draw living and non-living things in the Read More