Giveaway, baby! The Priestess, the Protector
May 1, 2013
Few people recognize the artistic nature of nerdery, so when I befriended fellow nerd, beer-maven (heh, maven…I’ve been trembling to use that word for weeks), and talented author, J. Andrew Jansen, I knew I had discovered a bona fide human being (no offense to all of those who don’t write fiction, program algorithms, and appreciate the splendor of a dark frothy stout).
So, I’m pimping his brilliantly-crafted YA Fantasy novel: The Priestess, the Protector. <–Pimpin’, baby, that’s right.
Do you like elves and dwarves and fantastical world-building? Read this book. Do you like YA and magical adventure? Read this book. Do you have kids who refuse to read? Make them read this book. Are you a cheap-ass who would read a brilliant book if it were free? Here’s your chance.
Mr. Jansen is offering a free Kindle or Nook eBook to the person with the best answer to my question.
Giveaway Question: An elf and a dwarf walk into a bar. The elf is armed with a bow, a sword, minimal magic, and superior intellect. The dwarf carries a hammer, an ax, intentional straight-talk, and physical strength. The bartender offers a free can of Guinness (with the nitrogen widget) to the bastard who can open it with the least amount of bubbly spillage. Without using the tab. Who wins the Guinness and how? The best answer wins the eBook. Post your answers below. I’ll choose the winner on May 5.
Blurb:
Since she and her sister were found as orphans, Mirian has grown up in the temple, a passionate priestess dedicated to her Goddess. When she is granted magical healing powers, she feels her life is complete.
But jealousy tears the sisters apart, and pride keeps them separated. When Mirian is commanded by her Godddess to travel to heal the royal family and repair the rift between her and her sister, she finds one is easier than the other. And then there’s Jerok.
Jerok lives a carefree life bouncing from one place to another, liberating food and money as he goes. When he comes across a naive priestess in the middle of the woods, he decides she will be his ticket into the castle for the heist that will let him retire. But getting into the castle was just the beginning.
They are intercepted by an elf and a dwarf who pull them into the midst of a war between races they’d never known existed, a war she is supposed to win. But even with a magical pendant she cannot channel the power of the elements, leaving her unable to defend herself.
Despite the chaos, Mirian remains determined to find her sister, but can she do it in time? And will Jerok find what he’s been searching for?
Thanks, Pam! I’m completely flattered.
You shouldn’t be, you big oaf. You wrote the thing. You should be sprawling in all your authorial glory.
Teamwork. The elf holds the sword tip over the top of the can straight down and the dwarf it with the hammer to handle on either. Not creative, but they’re thirsty.
Mwah ha ha! It’s Guinness. The only thing that can quench a real thirst. And it’s plenty creative. Awesome.
The dwarf wins because he tells the elf that he had better open it for him or the dwarf will beat up the elf with his axe and hammer after he smashes the bow and bends the sword.
Ha! A woman after my own heart. Directness and physical prowess prevail! Love it!
Why Pam it was the Elf of course! Let me explain why: The Elf hurled the can in the air shooting his arrow at its’ side while grabbing his swift sword with a mighty blow the top of the can is sliced off, it flips and the bubbly contents falls directly and swiftly into his mouth. The Dwarf on the other refusing to be beat grabs the helve or haft if you will of his trusty axe with his left hand while simultaneously knocking off the bevelled blade with his hammer this splits the top of the can tipping it toward his ever waiting cup. However had he not been so boastful of this display of strength and paying attention the ever desirable liquid gold would have landed in his cup and not on the floor!! So, there you have it.
Great answer, Mrs. Sullivan. Clever and fun!
The dwarf will, you know. haha He will kill the elf >:)
no Seriously, for me, the Elf will win because he will use his minimal magic to simply open a minimal act of opening the can! yehey! The elf will win the guinness..! 😀 Im stupid haha
OMG, I loved the dwarf killing the Elf, but I guess not all things need to be solved with violence, no matter how savory the Guinness. 🙂 Great answer.
I let Mr. Jansen choose the winner…Kathryn Hughett. His characters Traunick (dwarf) and Llaewyn (elf) behave the way she suggested. Llaewyn talks big, but he knows who is really in charge at the end of the day.
Congrats, Kathryn!